Full-Time: After two games and seven goals, predictions of negative football seem wide of the mark. A good day’s football, all-in-all and I am glad the Euros are here. Russia look good; Poland looked good; and Greece were as they are. Just think how freaking exciting tomorrow will be. Get some rest. Si anara.
90 Min: Education’s Nikki Macleod, has just clinched her first win in the Monopoly Deal arena: ‘I’m still a beginner, privileged to play in such esteemed company; just looking forward to getting back in’. In terms of this game, that anyone can watch, it’s got a bit dull; Russia are on procession to victory over the Czech Republic: routine 4-1. My co-commentator has pointed out that, The Fans are loving the Mexican wave: globalisation.
88 Min: This is pretty funny, @Barriesview has just tweeted: 35.7% of UEFA’s Fantasy Football participants have Petr Cech in their team. Mugs.
86 Min: We knew that Dzagoev was good. He’s an ‘action shot’ in the Panini album. Pedigree.
84 Min: Two goal Dzagoev gets withdrawn. He looks decent. So do Russia, to be fair.
81 Min – GOAL!: ‘From Russia with love’ (that’s her again, folks). Pavlyuchenko has just cut inside on his right foot and then absolutely thraked one into the top corner. Petr Cech got a touch, but couldn’t do anything about it. ‘Things can only get Petr’ (yup). Other mate: ‘Fuck you ‘Arry’.
78 Min + a bit – GOAL!: Dzagoev lashes it home #laces. THAT’s what you should have done Kerzhakov, you numpty. Lovely goal. 3-1 is the least that Russia deserve. They have been excellent. Czech Republic, it turns out, are not that good if you play some strikers against them. THAT’s what you should have done Levein, you numpty.
78 Min: Arshavin looks exhausted. EXHAUSTED.
74 Min: Dick Advocaat, who does not ‘have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning this tournament’ (http://www.in-the-spirit.co.uk/cocktails/view_cocktail.php?id=241) – credit @lucyelgray (again), again, looks good apparently. For his age, I guess. His team are grateful to Igor Akinfeev, who’s just made a good save from Tomas Rosicky (#newcontract).
72 Min: Kerzhakov has been, somewhat mercilessly, withdrawn. Pavlyuchenko, Harry Redknapp’s latest victim, replaces him.
69 Min: Twitter’s @LucyelGray is enjoying the camera angles: ‘flair photography’. They are sugar coating some woeful finishing from Kerzhakov, who’s swiped at one with his right now after some more good approach play.
66 Min: Kerzhakov, who was ‘Russian’ (HoHo) earlier, has done it again and slashed at a better chance in a worse manner. Russia should be miles ahead here.
64 Min: Russia #mustdobetter – also, ‘I’m sorry I messed up, I was Russian’. (I told you there was a lot of us here).
Sticker Update: Available doubles: Ashley Cole (obviously, England, wanker) #493. Daniel Kolaf (Denmark, midfielder). #83. Hellas Bottom Left. Tweet @gdfeet4abigman with any offers.
62 Min: Trivia fans (and those hoping for penalties) will be pleased to know that the Czechs (unlike the Greeks) have never missed a penalty at the Euros. So far so good.
58 Min: The Czech Republic (is it ‘the’?) were totally rancid in the first half. They look decent know though. Rosicky is seeing a bit more of the ball and since he’s the only player we’ve heard of, that must be good.
Stickers Update: We don’t have Pilar. BUT, we can tell you (or we could, if you existed) that he played three times in the qualifier, scoring one goal. I still don’t know who passed it, but Pilar took it round the keeper lovely.
51 Min: As we arrive, like the Czech Republic 45 minutes late, GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! Pilar slots home after a sublime through ball from someone that none of us (there are 10 of us here) noticed. Lovely goal.